Less Talk, More Action

If you’ve read my posts are aware that I am constantly discussing the importance of effective communications, and urging more effective communication and teaching the skills to be better appreciated. Communication is among the most crucial aspects of relationships, both positive as well as negative. But, talking isn’t necessarily communication. There are many non-verbal methods to communicate.

My clients spend much effort and time and then develop anger by making huge announcements regarding things “If you don’t start picking up your clothes, I’m going to send them to Good Will” “If you won’t help me, I’ll do it myself” “If I ever catch you cheating, I’ll leave” or the standard, “We need to go to counseling.”

I’m all for effective communication However, If you’ve tried communicating and you’re not getting results then it’s time to take on that Nike motto as well as “Just Do It.”

My dear Richard is a fan of telling the story from his mother and father: his mother told his dad “Wouldn’t it be nice to remove this wall and make the livingroom bigger?” The Dad nodded in agreement. When he returned to the home from farming the following day, she was using the sledgehammer and made an enormous hole through the wall. That meant they needed to finish the task.

Richard enjoys laughing about this, as it shows how powerful his mother was and how she was able to finish everything that needed to be done. He also states that he’s cautious about when he says “yes” to, because he is aware that I’ll investigate it.

The act of complaining, whining, and making snide remarks aren’t the same as asking what you need. Discipline, yelling, temper outbursts and hissy fits aren’t effective ways to communicate. If you feel that your friend will not or won’t cooperate with your approach, these methods aren’t effective and typically cause more problems. Disputing about something repeatedly is a great sign that you’re not communicating effectively.

It’s a skill or technique that can be used in these situations If you ask for it directly, tell them what you’re looking for; and when you don’t get any response, you can avoid all the hassle or hassle. Quit arguing about it and simply resolve the issue.

This could be the most effective way to encourage your partner to join you and be willing to negotiate since he or she does not have the opportunity to be part of the solution and has no power to stop or hold you back. This should not be accomplished in the manner that says “OK, you won’t negotiate, so I’ll show you,” however, in the attitude of “I recognize that you’re not keen to talk about the issue, and I’ll have to resolve it myself, the best way I can. If you’re willing to negotiate and cooperate I’ll be there.” I’ve published this previously in the form of a strategy known as “solve it yourself.” The key here is not wasting time talking about it; instead, do it yourself.

There are a variety of advantages to this strategy:

* It’s refreshing to assert yourself for yourself and to recognize that you don’t need to have the support of your partner to be happy, but you do not have to keep them out, or behave rudely.

* You’re not dealing with the issue that you were worried about.

* You are still able to have the perfect, loving partnership, as you’ve blocked your partner out (the possibility of negotiating is always available) and you’re not overwhelmed, angry, or depressed.

* It eases the burden off your partner and improves the chances that they will be more relaxed and much less defensive, and engaged.

* It keeps you from feeling overwhelmed and miserable, which means you’re more likely to accept your partner’s help when they offer it.

The most important thing to do in resolving the issue rather than talking about it is the conviction that there is an acceptable solution. Be mindful of your partner’s needs and wants (as being considerate of yours) is essential to collaborating but you can’t effectively satisfy your partner’s demands without their help. If your partner doesn’t want to assist in solving the issue and you are left with no option other than to tackle it on your own until you can achieve cooperation. If you give your partner the chance to work together and extend an invitation for your partner to join you at any time they’d like You are free to focus on solving the issue on your own. If you are trying to satisfy your partner by spending your own money There is no way for you both to be content. After you’ve tried cooperating but without support, the best option is to take a path that allows you to take charge of your health and wellbeing, while separating yourself from the consequences of your partner’s opposition.

These steps will ensure that you’ve provided your partner with ample opportunities to collaborate and not reacting too much.

Guidelines For Solving It Yourself

1. Make sure you’ve attempted to reach a deal. Do not attempt to solve it by Yourself until you’ve tried your best to involve your partner in negotiations and not fighting.

2. Explain to your partner what you’re doing. Make it clear that you’ve tried to resolve the issue and that you’ve concluded that your partner isn’t willing to tackle it, and that you’d prefer to solve the issue together, but you’ve made a decision on what you’re going to do by yourself. You could say that you’re sorry to be forced to take this step while also defending the positive aspects of the relationship. It’s crucial to be able to handle this in a calm and confident manner.

3. Ask your friend to discuss the issue with you at anytime. You can say that you’re going to pursue your own plan however, you are open to discussing the issue anytime. This is your opportunity to discuss your options, which prevents the idea from becoming the power play.

4. Show your appreciation. Make sure your partner knows that you appreciate your relationship and partnership, and do not want to have to make uninvolved choices and you think you don’t have a choice because your partner doesn’t want to collaborate with you on the issue.

5. Make sure that your solution will solve the issue for you regardless of whether you believe your partner might not be happy with the idea. If the solution is beneficial to each of you then the problem is solved and there is no need for need for further discussion. If your partner isn’t satisfied with your solution you’ve been invited to discuss the issue and being denied can be a powerful motivator. To gain a new perspective think about what you’d take on the issue in the absence of your partner. of the discussion. Would you take action if you were your closest friend was involved? When you look at a relationship issue from the perspective of a single individual often highlights areas where you’re relying on others in a way that isn’t necessary.

Most likely, you won’t have to resolve a problem without the help of your partner however, knowing that you are able to solve the issue by yourself while leaving the door open for the participation of your partner means you’ll remain serene and patient even in the face of an opponent’s refusal to cooperate. It’s not necessary to wait for a partner who is reluctant to help you in the event that you inform your partner the plan in advance.

This is certainly more beneficial for your relationship, rather than feeling angered, frustrated, and exploited. These abilities create an environment of co-operation between people and result in a negotiations that satisfy all parties.

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