Intimacy: Can Childhood Trauma Set Someone Up To Have A Fear Of Intimacy?

Today, it’s not unusual for the phrase “fear of intimacy” to be used. In general, it’s more likely for someone to employ this word to describe someone else rather than to refer to themselves.

The reason is that it’s more easy for someone else to recognize this ways than to recognize it within the person they are. This is due to the reality that people be a person with a mindset that leads them to think of themselves as just being a spectator of their lives rather than an active participant in it.

A Hurdle

In the wake of this, one is able to keep attracting people who do not have the emotional capacity to do not even take a moment to check if they’re involved in what’s happening. They will be in the wrong, not having any control over the way that it unfolds.

There are times where this makes them feel more confident, or even more advanced than the rest of us However, it’s likely to make them feel ineffective in the area they live in. To change their lives, it’ll be crucial for them to step back and look at the role they play in what’s happening.

The Meaning

In any case, when the term is utilized, it’s an indication that someone is scared of becoming emotionally connected to another. So, even though they’ll be able share their thoughts and bodies with other human beings but that’s about the extent it can be.

Being open to their heart and connecting emotionally with an individual (forming an emotional connection with them) is a difficult task. They may not be able this, or, should it happen it could close their eyes (even more) or separating.

One Experience

If you do react this manner after getting close to anotherperson, it doesn’t necessarily mean they know the situation. If this happens they might be thinking that the other is too demanding and smothering or simply not that interested in the other person.

In other words, if they’ve been through this situation in a series of instances They might believe that they aren’t needed or they’re not allowed to be in relationships that are deep. In both instances it is a sign that they are not self-aware and, in the end they don’t possess the self-awareness necessary to achieve it.

Another Experience

If someone else is who would like to develop an intimate relationship with a person else it can be difficult to comprehend why they end in shutting down or feeling the need to leave. They may also discover that it’s difficult to connect emotionally with them right from the beginning.

If they looked at what’s going on it could lead with the idea that they are suffering from an aversion to intimacy, and may even think that something is wrong in their ability to connect emotionally with another. In the end, they can explore what they could do to get rid of the anxiety about intimacy.

Going Deeper

It could be the fear they are able to let go by changing their beliefs and questioning the things they believe, for example. But, just changing the way they think within their minds (up the top) may not be enough.

The reason is because what’s happening within their bodies (down below) could play an important role in how they are experiencing life. Also there is a good likelihood that they’re carrying trauma.

Connecting the Dots

If they’re unable to recall a moment in their lives when you felt depressed and felt like they were in no control, it is possible that they suffered trauma early in their lives. Inability to recall the events that occurred could result from two main reasons.

First of all, they might be too young to be able to recall it and in the second, their brain could have been unable to comprehend the events that occurred in order to safeguard themselves. What they experience could be a reflection of how they felt when they were pregnant however bizarre this might be.

A Closer Look

If they had experienced trauma early or trauma, it might be a sign the fact that there was at the very least one caregiver who was not able to give them the attunement they needed when they were infants. As a result, they could feel smothered or at a loss for attention, and felt as if they were about to be killed (to be killed).

In addition to this, they might have also been victims of neglect, abuse or neglect. In both instances their boundaries could be violated, and the decision to shut down been the only option to manage the suffering they were experiencing.

The Body Remembers

The years will be over however the feelings they had that way back then will remain within them. Being close to someone can unconsciously bring back memories of the events that happened when they were young.

The initial arousal is activated and again closing down or withdrawing will be an option to deal with it. This kind of trauma can make it impossible for them to remain emotionally engaged and to fully be in touch with another.


The traumas they endured in their childhood will have impacted the ability of them to trust and be comfortable being vulnerable. In the end, what they fear is already happening, but because they remain in a state of trauma and are not able to let go of the events that occurred and realize that they have survived what occurred.

The ability to manage these arousals is crucial in order to enjoy a satisfying and deep connection with another. If you are trying to deal with this type of arousal it is recommended that you seek the help from a therapist or healer may be required.

Author, transformative writer instructor and consultant Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful analysis and commentary encompasses all aspects of transformation for humans that includes self-love, love, partnerships and inner-awareness. With over 2 000 more in-depth pieces that explore human psychology and behavior, Oliver offers hope along with sound guidance.

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