Four Stupid Things People Say When You’re Grieving From a Misfortune

Everyone has been through some unfortunate situation that caused us cry. It could be the loss of a loved one financial hardship, being dismissed from work, failing on an exam or a painful break-up or a deal that didn’t work out or was a public embarrassment, betrayal or family problems or health issues or, simply, depression. The thing that makes these events even more difficult is that they’re typically unavoidable – they happen in a flash, at a time when we’re the least prepared for their impact. The reality that we don’t have control over the majority of challenges we face can be incredibly devastating.

When these terrible events happen it is easy to shut the world away and be in solitude, however, most of the time, we go to those that we believe we love, and share our story to them, hoping for they to help lift us by their words. The truth is, the statements we hear in the midst of our struggles don’t help us out of our situation Some even make us feel worse. Sometimes it’s best to be a pet for someone as they cry or cry without saying anything or telling them, “Take heart, take heart,” instead of make a bunch of sloppy remarks. There are four phrases people use to grieving individuals which do nothing to help lift them up from their sorrow:

  1. “Just forget it” or “It’s nothing”: This nonsense statement is popular. Someone has been deceived by a trusted acquaintance or has been subjected to humiliation in public, and all that does you think is that it’s all nonsense. You tell them that they should forget about it. It might not mean anything to you since it’s not your situation, yet it does mean something to them, therefore you must be respectful of that. Human beings are wired select the most efficient route for solving problems. If it were that simple to forget or even if it came naturally, it would be the first thing we do. It’s not like they grieved at all. Sometimes I’ve heard someone telling someone else after a breakup with the person they love “Just forget him and move on!” As if it were an easy task. This can be said in a different manner that doesn’t cause a grieving person to think that you’re not taking care of their issue. It’s a mistake to ask someone who is who is in pain to ignore the hurt and move on.
  1. “You’re a man”: So what? Who came up with the idea that men aren’t supposed to be grieving? Who thought of men as robots with no heart? If a man is the first to display signs of sadness or grief, people begin to make fun of this nonsense assertion. “You’re a man. You’re not meant to cry!” Who said that? He was married who died quickly, leaving him an infant and a large hole in his heart. Please let him grieve. He was laid off due to a sudden reduction and is now in charge of his family. Why shouldn’t he be grieving? He’s a man and has heart. If that’s all you can say, then just give him a pat in silence. It’s a sloppy statement that’s which isn’t worth saying.
  1. “God brought it to pass”: God and Satan are responsible for more than they’re accountable for. When people are in trouble and behave badly, people blame Satan. If misfortune occurs people, the blame falls on God. “The Lord giveth, the Lord taketh,” they declare, with a sigh of resignation. Actually, the right statement would be “The Lord giveth, Satan stealeth, killeth, and destroyeth.” God has not struck your child with an illness. The Bible states that nobody should ever declare, when they experience a tragedy to them, that God is responsible for the situation as God is not able to do the wrong thing (James 1:3). Instead, Satan is responsible for the killing, stealing and destruction that is abounds (John 10:10). Don’t blame God. He’s innocent. Encourage the person who is grieving to fight Satan and claim victory. Does it seem logical that God could cause you to go without a source of income and then beg in the streets? What kind of caring Father would be willing to do that? God may take a smaller blessing from you to grant you a greater one, however.
  1. “You’re a Christian”: A Christian is someone who is similar to Jesus Christ. This is why I am asking, “Did Jesus grieve when He was on earth?” “Did He weep?” Yes, He did. Jesus wept at the time Lazarus passed away (John 11:35). Jesus wept when a group of people refused to allow Him to treat the man who had a swollen hands (Mark 3:5). The insanity, hypocrisy and wretchedness of their hearts caused Jesus to cry.

When he looked at them in anger, grieved over the heaviness of their hearts and their hearts, he said to the man, Spread out your hand. He stretched his hand out and then his hand was reestablished as the one. (Mark 3:5-6)

Jesus was in extreme agony during His prayer during Gethsemane (Luke 22:44). He cried out with anger on the cross because He felt like there was a gap from Him as well as God (Mark 15:34). What makes us think that Jesus was more emotional than we are? David is a different example of a man who was a hero in the Bible who wept bitterly at times. His son Absalom passed away He wept bitterly (2 Sam 18:33 19:4).

When his his soldiers families and wives were abducted by the enemy, he and his soldiers wept until they could not find more strength to weep (1 3-4 Sam.).

David as well as his soldiers did not show up to find his city burned down, and his wife and children held captive, and then stand up in anger and shout, “What nonsense?! Let’s go after these people at once!” They first cried their eyes red and their voices became slurred. Actually, they could only think straight because they were unable to cry.

If they had more motivation to weep surely, they would have wept more. Being a Christian doesn’t mean your humanity is gone. In fact it is the Bible tells us to rejoice with those who are joyful and mourn with those who mourn (Romans 12:15). These are just a few examples from numerous passages in the Bible. It’s not right to criticize anyone who is grieving due to the fact that they’re Christian.

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